The Nightmare Before New Year

So I think I'm undergoing that more depressing stage of studying abroad. I mentioned it in my last post, about now being able to see past the glitter of the city and beyond the surge of freshman-dorm-like excitement. I've been having a lot of nightmares recently. I usually don't remember having many bad dreams. They all randomly give me anxiety. But I think they're a processing of the emotions I'm having here in HK.

I had a dream that I was a lone doctor in a war zone with several families who found out that their children had rabies. I felt so lost. I could've helped but I didn't know the system, the logistics, how to sign the papers. So all my work was inefficient trying to get to know just how to do things. Then I asked, why am I a doctor? This is why there's residency. I wish I could understand this place and my place in it.

Where's Waldo?
Ok, I'm not in this picture. Significant?














I also had a dream where I was on a large boat that announced that we were travelling in acidic water. The boat was full of children and they were all pushing each other off the highest levels of the boat to save themselves. They used physical as well as social tactics to save their skins over the kids next to them. They were pushing and clinging and telling each other they couldn't pee in their pants, to get each other off their posts. And then I got to thinking, how has humanity come to this? Why is everyone fighting for himself? There are no ties, no greater importance to these kids other than their lives. Is this what it really comes down to? But then I too, was not giving up my little pole of wood. I clung desperately to it, not willing to let another child steal it away from me.

These dreams are probably workings of my feeling of fighting, fear and not understanding. I am realizing the extent of these HK language and cultural barriers. And really, this is nothing yet. I have not stepped into Tibet or Cambodia yet, been completely unable to orally communicate in Beijing, nor gotten my purse stolen without a translator. Actually I'm posting this a week after I wrote this draft. Maybe these dreams stem from a chemical imbalance with my increased intake of MSG, pork fat, noodles, dan tat (mini custard/egg pies) (ok, the first day I was in HK I ate more dan tat than I do in most years) and ?questionable? substances. But I think most of it originates from my emotional realizations in HK.

One of the ?questionable? substances, yes.
Good thing I didn't eat it.
Uhh, sorry I didn't warn you.














Arguably the largest culture shock I had was this Sunday. (This has now changed and I plan on writing a new blog soon...) I was grocery shopping on a Sunday...never again. Since the HKers have 5.5 workdays, the grocery store was filled of barely moving small Asian people. There was little room to walk and get to places, especially in a grocery store. Me, the monsterous, gluttonous American that I am was too ignorant to understand why minimalism, especially in consumption, was highly practiced in buying groceries. So being used to Costco I tried to strike a deal with the fruit market owner and the bakery owner outside asking if I buy a large amount can I get a small discount? Me being me I asked a few friends if they wanted me to buy them fruit so that they could be part of this brilliant plan. So I bought $50 of fruit and $30 of bread/pasteries (many dan tat) and then headed to the grocery store. I of course compulsively bought a lot. Totally but not so totally worth it. The ladies giving out samples are just too good! They're highly aggressive, nice and follow you around. How can you resist, "Leng siuje, leng siuje sii ____ haa. Hou sihk a?" "Pretty lady, pretty lady try some of this ____. Good huh?" "Look, it's right here, try another. No no, it's right here, this shelf." Yeah...

Anyhoo, so by the time I was done I had $250 worth of groceries plus all my heavy fruits and breads. And I was thinking oh my goodness. I can't do this. I can't carry all this anywhere let alone to the train station or my apartment. I didn't know what to do. I was paralyzed for twenty minutes. But I finally decided to take a few steps and break whenever I lost circulation in my arms. And after too many cycles of step-step-step-break-people looking at me funny, I eventally made it to the train station. Never again...

My horde of food. Normally this isn't that much, but here supposedly this could feed me for 3 weeks (said all my flatmates who gasped at my fei (fat) gluttony). Next time I should only get this much when I have a village to help me carry it back.














Those sales people suckered me into buying this.
I am glad though, coconut gau (gluttonous rice cake for New Years) is grand.














I felt so stuck. Usually when I go shopping on any other day I am able to ask people questions. Questions have been my savior. But at such a crowded, dog-eat-dog time I totally just had to do it on my own. I didn't know what everything was, just tried to get a grasp of things by visual cues. My motto here is, Do what the locals do. Obvious it seems, but it doesn't solve everything. I mean...I like to know what's in the pasteries I buy even if thirty other HKians buy the same thing. I know they like their animal feet, eyes, and random body parts. Yes, I know that one. That's for the next blog...

What's in this pasterie? I've been doing a lot of guessing recently.















(P.S. Feel free to subscribe to this blog. That way you can resume with your life instead of compulsively checking for infrequent postings on my part. You will get an email when I post great or equally bad posts. I infrequently go on the internet now. Gasp, I know.)