Goi Gin to HK

So I leave Honkey Town tonight.

Yesterday I cried a little in the MTR. I was travelling by myself to pick up a suit and when I'm alone I always start to think.

As I was walking around Shatin doing normal things I had to keep catching myself from commenting/sharing inside jokes and memories because there weren't people to share them with. I kept thinking about events that happened or was reminded about...but couldn't say anything. I just had to think about things in a sea of same-same...but different.

The comments/jokes/reflections that were meant to be said will never be. It's painful getting cut off and knowing that you'll be cut off from people that you've been around/saw/talked about/talked with/communicated with so much. All the little things that you'd continue to share cannot be shared, and even if done so later would not
seem as significant nor shared completely. I was alone in my thoughts with memories of shared experiences. I missed what was...both inHK and being home home in both Cali and Hawaii with friends and family.

Hong Kong has changed since I came back from my travels. So many people have left and with them they took away so much of what I experienced as "Hong Kong". I don't just bump into exchange students wherever I am anymore. I miss that incessant connection to home that hits when you least expect it. And I still have good friends here. Yet I still miss everyone; even the people who I'm still cherishingHK with. It scares me how I'll do in London without any friends and family, really. I have to remember that easy will not stimulate
growth. I'm going to love London (hopefully) but starting all over...sigh.

I was looking through my papers so that I could pack. I found the packet of CU orientation materials and it was kind of hard to look at. It reminded me of getting here: the frenzy of friend-making, real communication before phones, exploring, feeling like I was in the Amazing Race. In retrospect, my experience was an amazing race. We packed in a lot of sites, adventures, and experiences but it went by so quickly.

Some unexpressed memories that I had while walking around HK. Too bad what was meant to be heard will not be. Too bad these are just less than adequate:

"I give you happy discount," digestive biscuits, walking left game, wishful nightie parading, 10,000 Buddha reminiscence, Shenzen pulling/touching/"Missy, missy!"/feeling bad for white people/not being able to find where the fake DVDS are, the disgustingness of Chinese nhaaaawk, whole wheat bakery goodness, i-house warnings, cheap dan tat, "no, la!", order-out Chinese pizza, "Hello missy. Ok," opposing taste in clothes, Candarin, Wanchai sketchiness, Ugly, Chinese mullets and haircutting experiences, monkey mountain and not being dumb, my dirty wallet, Drop, 24 jam,doot doot doot doot doot.

So I heard this song in the Shenzhen Wal-mart and it felt fitting. I never noticed the lyrics before because this song was actually the butt of a joke. But it hit home on how I'll miss all the good people that are/will be far from me in distance though not by heart. Cliche...don't judge. But it's true!

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...

I can see the first leaf falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do feel I will miss you much
Miss you much...

Miss you much! But don't cry for me...I'm a big girl now. However, do expect the ever-elusive update posts. They'll have pics unlike this boring post.

I wasn't planning on writing this post but I felt that I had to reflect before I left even though packing is realistically more essential during this period.